Empty Seats: Why I Haven't Been to a Ballgame Since Dad Died | Ep 265

Empty Seats: Why I Haven't Been to a Ballgame Since Dad Died | Ep 265

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Ever wonder why certain family traditions feel impossible to continue after losing someone you love? That's exactly what I explore in this deeply personal episode about baseball games, family bonds, and the weight of absence.

Growing up, baseball games were the cornerstone of my family's shared experiences. From earliest memories of squeezing six people into my grandfather's Buick for gameday adventures to decades of attending games with my father, these weren't just sporting events—they were sacred rituals that connected generations. We'd pack sandwiches and watermelon in coolers, visit the same hot dog vendor year after year, and stand in the same spots where we'd chat with strangers who somehow became familiar faces despite never exchanging names.

What strikes me now is how these experiences weren't about constant conversation or entertainment. Before smartphones demanded our attention, we simply existed together, commenting occasionally on a pitcher's form or nodding in agreement about a missed play. The value wasn't in what we said but in our shared presence. These gameday traditions evolved over thirty years, adapting as grandparents passed and families changed, but maintaining their essence as touchpoints of connection.

Since my father's passing last year, I haven't attended a single game. The ballpark—once a place of joy—now represents his absence too painfully. My mother feels the same way. This isn't about physically being unable to go; it's about emotional readiness. And that's the message I want to leave you with: it's perfectly okay to take your time before resuming cherished activities that feel overwhelmingly empty without someone who made them special. Healing doesn't follow a timeline. Have you experienced something similar with your own family traditions? I'd love to hear how you've navigated these complex emotions.

Chapter Markers

0:00 Welcome and Charity Introduction

3:03 Family Traditions Through the Years

7:37 Baseball Games with Grandma and Grandpa

16:09 Ballpark Rituals with Dad

25:35 Missing Dad and Avoiding the Stadium

33:45 Healing at Your Own Pace

#EmptySeats #BallgameMemories #GriefJourney #SportsAndLoss #FatherSonBond #HealingThroughSport #BaseballTribute #CopingWithLoss #RememberingDad #LifeAfterLoss #EmotionalStorytelling #SportsNostalgia #FamilyTraditions #MentalHealthAwareness #HeartfeltReflections #TikTok #Instagram #VoicesforVoices #VoicesforVoicesPodcast #JustinAlanHayes #JustinHayes #help3billion

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome and Charity Introduction
• 3:03 Family Traditions Through the Years
• 7:37 Baseball Games with Grandma and Grandpa
• 16:09 Ballpark Rituals with Dad
• 25:35 Missing Dad and Avoiding the Stadium
• 33:45 Healing at Your Own Pace

Transcript

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 0:02

Hi everyone, welcome to another episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast. I'm your host. Founder of Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for taking a minute, several minutes, a few seconds out of your day to tune in, to watch, to listen. We're so grateful to have you with us today. Over 260 episodes We'll be definitely hitting 300 total episodes in our catalog by the end of calendar year 2025. In fact, we probably will go over that amount given our trajectory now.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 0:56

But we can't do without you. We can't do without your support. If you can give us a thumbs up, if you can subscribe, like share, all those things are free to do and we would greatly appreciate that if you could help us out there. We are a 501c3 charity, which may seem not likely given the amount of shows we have and the content and the topics and experiences, but we really are. We know that you value every single penny that you have. If you're able to donate, we would be so grateful for any amount. Just be incredible to have that. You can do that at voices4voicesorg. Click on support the show, which is supporting the 501c3 nonprofit charity that is Voices for Voices, or you can go to Venmo if that's easier for you. Voices for voices. You'll see the purple hands that you see in our logo and you'll know that you're in the right place.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 2:37

It's a beautiful day. Where I'm at today, there is blue skies, white, puffy clouds. It is blue skies, white puffy clouds, it is hot, it is humid, but it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, as Fred Rogers would say. And I'm reminded on this day. Say, and I'm reminded on this day as well as other days, but today just hit me a little bit differently than usual, which is why I want to talk about it, because I think a lot of us have gone through something very similar, because I think a lot of us have gone through something very similar and I didn't start to realize that until maybe a couple months ago to the full extent. And what is that or what are those? So, as we grow, as we go from children and to adolescents, to young adults, to adults, we have certain traditions that we like to do, or certain vacations, certain events, certain you fill in the blank that over the course of the year that we do as family, as friends, as members of a company. One of those things could be volunteering time for an hour each year with a charity, which we would be grateful if you do that, if you would do that with us, voices for Voices, and you can reach out to us directly to ask how you're able to help, because we would be beyond the moon if you selected that, if your company events, those time spent together, hobbies, shared interests where we would do things together. And I'll give my experience.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 5:49

As far back as I can remember so I'm in my 40s now, age-wise, as far back as I can remember, my mom's mom and dad, so my grandma and grandpa on my mom's mom and dad, so my grandma and grandpa on my mom's side. They lived in a greenhouse and so we call them grandma and grandpa. Greenhouse Keeps it easy for children and to this day that's how I recognize them. They're in heaven now, but I still recognize them as Grandma and Grandpa Greenhouse. They're still my Grandma and Grandpa. On my dad's side, my dad's mom and dad, they lived in a White House Not the White House, but a White House and so we would refer to them as Grandma and Grandpa. White House.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 7:17

For us growing up, and it's easy to to associate with who we were meeting for dinner or lunch or for an event, and so my mom, her parents, grandma and grandpa Greenhouse, as far back as I can remember, and I don't know how many times this summer or how many times a year we would do it, but I remember my grandpa greenhouse having a, a Buick, and we would have my grandma greenhouse, my grandpa greenhouse, my mom, my dad, my sister and myself, greenhouse, my grandpa greenhouse, my mom, my dad, my sister and myself that's not six people, and we will be riding in the same same car, and so, me being the youngest, you know kind of that center console and this particular car lifted up. So I was the smallest, so I would. My grandpa Greenhouse would be driving, so he'd be sitting to the left of me and my dad would be sitting to the right of me and I'd be in the middle, all up front, and then in the back it'd be my grandma greenhouse, my sister and my mom, and so the six of us we would. Again, I don't remember exactly when it started, what age I was, but I remember that one of the things that we would do is we would gather on a Saturday or a Sunday. We would pack the cooler full of sandwiches, ham, salami, water, maybe juice, maybe some watermelon. So we would pack all that.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 9:45

We would drive the from my grandma and grandpa's house Maybe it was an hour, given the side roads and that but regardless we would gather and we would drive up to where the baseball team, the Cleveland Indians, were playing at the old municipal stadium and we would arrive early. I don't know exactly if it was an hour and a half, if it was an hour, I don't know. That part doesn't matter, but we would drive up together, we would park and then we would eat lunch at the car. So pop the trunk open up the car and we would eat, we would get hydrated and we would just be Just be hanging out Getting ready to attend the ball game Baseball game.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 11:10

Once we were finished with lunch, we would walk I believe it was across the street, after looking both ways, making sure that the coast was clear, and we would together, as the six of us, we would cross the street and we would have our ticket Back in the day. We had the paper tickets and the attendant would take part of it all, just so that you were attending that particular game, so nobody could reuse the ticket. That's what that main idea is, and so we would go to the game we would watch. The ball team wasn't, you know, the Cleveland Indians. They weren't the best at those times. So a lot of games where we would attend and others, the team wasn't really that good. They weren't able to be as competitive as we would have wanted them to be, but it didn't matter, because we were spending time together as a family. We were doing something that we all enjoyed watching baseball. I was playing baseball, my sister was playing baseball, my sister was playing softball, and so playing ball was just something that really ran in the family, something we liked to do.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 13:14

And when I look back now at those times and again I can't turn back the clock, but I miss those times. I miss my grandma and grandpa greenhouse. I also miss my grandma and grandpa lighthouse, grandpa Greenhouse. I also miss my grandma and grandpa Whitehouse. My dad passed last year. I greatly miss my dad, and so we would go to these ball games, maybe once a year.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 13:55

I don't remember exactly how many we went to. I just remember sitting in the middle and there was a little circular compass and I would try to play with it and my grandpa would say, hey, let that go. But again. I was a kid and I thought it was the coolest thing. It showed us what direction we were going. We didn't have phones, we didn't have GPS. At those times we had to use our minds, our brains. We'd been somewhere before that we're able to recall.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 14:43

But I miss those and while those days, those times happened 30, 35 years ago, I miss them, I miss ago. I miss them. I miss again. I miss the people. And we didn't have to always be talking, didn't always have to have a conversation. We just enjoyed being together and going to ballgames. And after the ballgames we would stop on the way home at a restaurant that was known for their chicken and we would eat dinner and then we would drive home to my grandma and grandpa's greenhouse and then we would drive home to our house. And I miss those.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 15:43

And I'm sure you have similar stories, similar experiences where you know we wish we could turn back the clock. And if you're enjoying those experiences now, just soak them in. I know we all have our phones, a great majority of us have our phones and we're just addicted to them. The checking social media, whatever. Addicted to them. The checking social media, whatever. That part I'm grateful for. When those experiences that I was recalling that we didn't have those. We were just human beings spending time with each other and doing something we like.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 16:43

And so my grandma and grandpa greenhouse when they passed, and we would kind of continue a little bit of that tradition, except we wouldn't usually pack lunches because a lot of the ballgames we'd go to would be in the evening, and so it'd be after my dad got off work. And so there was, there's this hot dog stand set up about a block away from the ballpark, away from the ballpark, and the same experiences that I was having and had with my grandma and grandpa green house, my mom, my dad, my sister, me, I was having those with my dad, and so we would. Sometimes we would know, hey, we want to go see this particular team or this particular pitcher is going to be on the hill and pitch and we want to watch, and so sometimes again, we would have it planned where we would be going to a game. We would be going to a game. We would say, oh, next Wednesday, and then we would go Other times. It would be a spur of the moment where Dad would get home from work and he would say, hey, you want to go to the game and it wasn't planned but I wanted to. Well, I didn't say it a lot and I think we're all different, didn't do a whole lot of verbalizing and talking with my dad, it was just more the comfort of being with him, being around him, knowing that he loves me, he cares for me, and so we would go to games and he would do his thing. He would most infancy. We would go to the same hot dog vendor. We would grab a couple hot dogs Because we're able to save a little bit more money than making purchases inside the stadium, and so this happened for years. So we would not only if my dad and I would go, but my mom and my sister and the four of us would go, or a friend of mine we would go, we would try to park in the same place, we would again grab a couple hot dogs or what have you, and then we would go into the stadium and dad loved watching the uh, the starting pitchers warm up, so that was where he would spend, kind of those first minutes in the stadium.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 20:14

And a lot of times I would go, I would go to where the TV set was or they were doing the pregame and I would try to, you know, be on the back, be behind the announcers and going through the pregame show, you know, to try to get on TV. Sometimes I did, and then I would sometimes then meet up with my dad and we would. There was a certain spot where we would stand near home play, above the seats, and there would be a couple people that it wouldn't matter if we went to one game a year or we would go to five games or what. These were people that we didn't know outside of going to the ball game and we would, literally and figuratively, just we would stand there with with these gentlemen and talk about the game and talk about the players and talk about oh, the pitcher doesn't have it today and you know their fastball is not registering you fast, as it had been, or I don't know why they didn't make this play or that play. And we were just talking and it didn't matter what any of us did outside of the stadium at that time. It was just a group of people there watching the ball game and just having conversations. And this happened for years.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 22:02

There were some years where we may have attended one ballgame and we would go to next year and the people would remember us, they would remember, and we would just pick up where we left off, talking about the ballgame, talking about the team, talking about the chances in the playoffs and all these just human communication hanging out. We're all watching, we make a comment here, there, and we would do these for years and years and years. And to this day I can't remember any of their names and to this day I can't remember any of their names. But I remember exactly where we would go and stand, and there's been times over the last couple years when I made it to some games where I wouldn't stand there but I'd walk by and there'd be a group of people three or four people, and maybe one of them I would recognize, and so that was something, that we weren't making money doing, that we weren't talking about money.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 23:38

I mean, we might have talked about how much the players were making and how they weren't playing up what they were making, but it didn't matter what any of us did outside of the stadium, didn't matter what job, what anything, we were just there hanging out. And so it was kind of like a family of sorts when, you know, we would stand in a particular order and somebody would go get a hot dog or a drink, and so we would stand there and when they come back we, you know, give them their spot back and you know, and if we were, you know, if we made it earlier at a particular game, then the same thing would happen. It was just, it was just fun times and I just look back and think of how, how small, how small experiences like that look today, but how much it meant to when those happened and I was able to spend that time with my dad and again, we didn't have to talk a whole lot, we were just watching the ball game and we make a comment here or there, and we would nod and shake our heads and throw our hands up and there's a home run, we would clap and give high fives and we didn't know these people outside of that particular time, that particular game or those games. But I was kind of a little bit of a ritual that when I would go to a game with my dad, that we would do, and then the last couple years that my dad and I, when we would go to games, we'd have that same pregame ritual where we'd go to the hot dog stand. Again, we wouldn't, we didn't converse and know, know the hot dog vendor outside of the different games, and again we could go to one game and show up and then the following year we could go and they would remember us and we would just have, you know, small talk and um, and I think those are just so like, so cool. So I miss those experiences. I miss going to the ball games with my dad. I miss those experiences. I miss going to the ballgames with my dad. I miss going to the ballgames with my family. I miss going to the hot dog stand that's a block away.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 26:41

Who, I believe, is that his son has taken over Again. I don't know his name, I just I think I remember a couple years ago when we went, that you know, the sun had taken over the hot dog stand again. I don't know that it's the super lucrative occupation, it didn't matter and it doesn't matter. It was about the experiences and the moments spent together with me and my family and loved ones. That that's what meant, and it means a lot, the last couple of years before my dad passed, when him and I would go to a game, we would stop at the hot dog stand, we'd go into the game together.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 27:36

My dad would go to the normal spot where he'd watch pregame warm up, the pitchers practice Before the game started. I would go to you know where the TV set is and try to wave and get on TV and then text my mom. A lot of times we would watch the games on TV and so she would say have you seen? Take a picture of the TV. And so she would say have you seen? Take a picture of the TV.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 28:09

And and then after that I would go to the home run porch, which was in left field, and the same thing, the same type of camaraderie people I don't know never met before. I may see them once a year at a game or twice or three times, and I would, instead of going to our seats. Sometimes we would go to our seats, but me and my dad we just liked to stand, I think. And so when he was watching the pitchers warm up and I was on the home run porch in left field watching the pitchers warm up, and I was on the home run porch in left field, you know they would. You know some, you know we would heckle the left fielder different times and they would turn around and laugh and sometimes they'd comment you know, some home run balls would come over and but we would just, we would just be at the ball game and enjoying it, whether we're winning, whether we're losing.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 29:17

It was, it's just something that we as a family, that we again going all the way back to when you know, over 30 years ago for me, when I, when we were attending games with my grandma and grandpa, greenhouse, and we would go up and we would sit together and uh that. But you know, as as we we grew up and then that's when you know, when my grandma and grandpa passed, we were growing up and so we would kind of do our own routine, fast forward to prior to my dad passing. He would know where he could find me on the home run porch, and so he could watch them warm up and he could, you know, walk around the different areas to get a different view of the ball game. And then it might be the third or fourth inning and then I would look back and I would see my dad there, and then we would just hang out, we'd watch the game, might walk around, get a couple different views. Let's see how fast somebody's fastball is, and you know, the breaking ball, the curveballs, and other times we would go up to our seats and so I miss that, didn't and doesn't matter how good the team is. We just like to do that was one of the. We just like to do, that was one of the things we like to do.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 31:18

And so when my dad passed last year, he was sick for a little less than a year, so it had been at least a year plus since I had been to a ballgame with my dad and that we had been to ballgames. And so when you pass is why this is important too this particular episode is we haven't been to. I haven't been to a ballgame since then. So it's been maybe two years since I've been to a ball game. My mom probably the same, I think, my sister and brother-in-law and nephews, I think they've gone to some games.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 32:22

But from my perspective, from my perspective, it brings up and it would bring up, you know, those those strong memories of so many years of of going to ballgames and just spending time together, even the rides to and from the game, of going to ballgames and just spending time together, even the ride to and from the game.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 32:56

It might be 40 minutes or so when we moved and that, and so I'm a little bit afraid of going to the game because my dad won't be with me.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 33:19

My dad won't be with me and my wife and my daughter and my sister and my brother-in-law and my nephews and my mom, and so I miss those and I'm afraid.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 33:42

It's not that I physically can't go to the game, to a game, but because we have been to so many games together and where it's been so much like so much free time going to ballgames over the years, it would make me miss my dad all the more, and I know he's in heaven, he's watching over, but it's something that's hard, it's hard to think about, and so I haven't been to a ballgame in a couple years, and it's okay. Same with my mom. My mom hasn't been to the ballgame in a couple years, and it's okay. So there's things that we're we're doing, things that we're we're doing, things that we change over the years, and it's okay. It's okay to take your time before moving on and not moving on, but before jumping back in to an event or things you would do with family, take your time. So until next time, please be a voice for you or somebody in need. And thank you so much for joining us.